preliminary investigations show that attempting to inspect the PCIe devices, memory, or basically any hardware causes the machine to instantly crash, so, uh, that's fun. Probably indicates a bad driver somewhere.
It boots to desktop under Intel graphics, so that makes my life slightly simpler.
@kalium my favorite user-configuration bug was discovering that the Windows 10 calculator used qwerty instead of dvorak until I run the Microsoft Store. + being on a different key is really quite annoying. They did fix it but it's possible that's just because the Microsoft Store always runs on boot now or something.
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